Between Two Worlds
by Luckysee12
Summary: Matthew was dead, but why didn't he go onto the other side? Where are his memories? Why does the name 'Ivan' mean so much, when he can't even remember why? RusCan
1. Chapter 1

There was a boy, just sitting on the edge of the fountain in the center of the city, waiting. He wasn't like anyone of this world. Because he wasn't. He was, but he wasn't. He was a ghost. And ghosts weren't allowed in the human world- at least not directly. He was somewhere between worlds. He was a ghost, and everyone else was human. Humans were different.

He wasn't sure why he didn't pass on, if passed would be the word, but he knew how he got here. He had died, obviously. He had being running. He wasn't sure from what, but he was running from something, and he didn't see the truck.

He was hit, and fell to the pavement. He was still alive for a few minutes afterwards, and felt the pain that it brought. It was very hard to breathe, and his vision was failing. He remembered hearing footsteps scrambling towards him and someone screaming. "MATVEY! Don't die on me! Please! Don't die! I love you Matvey! I love you!" He couldn't even tell who it was saying it. His vision was turning black, with bursts of white. _Like a light show. What a nice thing to see before you die._

Then everything faded to a misty nothingness. He had no memories from before the moments of his own death. He still knew some things instinctively but if he tried to remember where he learned them from, his mind drew a blank. He had woke up at the same place where he had died, and found himself wondering how he got there, until the memories of his death flooded to him. All the information a ghost would need to know was weirdly pressed into his brains, almost as if to replace his memories "I'm a ghost?"

It had been a while since then. He didn't know how long. Ghosts could go to someone and ask them the date, of course, but unless the person has special abilities, they wouldn't even know he was there. He hadn't met anyone who had the abilities to see him yet, but he had a feeling that he would. Then maybe he could find out why he couldn't pass on.

He had the strangest feeling that he would meet the person today. Maybe he would. Maybe he wouldn't. So he waited. And waited. And waited. And waited.

It wasn't like he could do much more than that. As a ghost, he wasn't exactly noticed. Not that he was noticed while he was alive. _How do I know that?_ His mind couldn't come up with an answer. He kept waiting, and when the sun was almost set he heard someone from behind him talking. "Matthew's funeral is tomorrow, right, Arthur?"

The ghost boy turned around. _Matthew? Isn't that my name? Me?_ The two men talking were familiar and Matthew knew their names and that they were close to him. _It's Alfred! Wait… a funeral for Matthew? My funeral?_

"Yes, it's tomorrow. You should remember your brother's funeral, you git." "Alfred! Can you see me?" Matthew tried to get his brother's attention, but Alfred couldn't see him. He tried Arthur next, but he couldn't see him either.

Matthew was on the verge of tears. _I want them to be able to see me. _"Is Ivan going?" Matthew paused at the mention of that name. Ivan. That was such a familiar name. It made Matthew feel like his heart was being crushed. Why did he feel like that? Why did it hurt? "Yes, but I wonder how he'll hold up. He was such a mess when Matthew died in the first place." The two men had gone farther than Matthew's range of hearing, but not before Matthew found out where his funeral would be. He was going to attend his own funeral. At least, as a ghost, he wouldn't have to wear a suit.


	2. Chapter 2

He was dead. This confirmed it. He was staring at his own lifeless body. Matthew couldn't believe it. He was really dead. He knew that he was dead but seeing himself, it just crashed into his mind exactly what being dead was. Matthew looked down at his body, taking in what he looked like. His eyes were closed, and his hands were clasped over his chest. He wore a brown suit, the one that he would wear when he went somewhere formal. A memory flickered in his mind of when Arthur first gave him the suit.

"_I just gave your brother his suit. Please don't make a fuss like he did. He's acting like wearing a suit would kill him."_

"_Don't worry Arthur, I'll wear the suit."_

_Arthur gently ruffled Matthew's hair. _

"_I knew you would. Now come on, Alfred's waiting for us."_

The memory was short, but it was earth-shattering to Matthew. _My memories?_ Matthew looked at his body again. His blonde hair looked limp, and there was a scar up from somewhere beyond his shirt collar up to his mouth. _From the accident, I bet._ His skin was pale, and looked fragile. The coffin was a red shade, with black lining, and it made him look evener paler. Matthew turned around as someone approached, the first one to actually look at the casket.

_Alfred._ Alfred looked like he was battling with himself to approach to casket. Alfred finally peered inside, and started crying. "He can't be dead…No…It's all a joke…He's not actually dead…Wake up Mattie…Wake up? Please? Why won't you wake up?" Alfred was leaning in, face-to-face with Matthew's body. "Why? You were supposed to live longer. You were supposed to finish growing up with me. Why? Why Mattie?" By then Arthur had walked up to Alfred, and put a hand on his shoulder. "It's ok. Matthew's in a better place…"

"How can you just say that? Mattie's dead! He's not coming back! He was the closest one to me. We were like twins! And now he's gone. I'm not getting him back, Arthur." "None of us are. We all miss him Alfred." A tear fell down onto Arthur's cheek. Matthew was surprised. He hadn't seen Arthur cry since he was little. Another one joined the group. _Papa._

"Mon Mathieu, you left too soon, ma petite. I can't believe he's…" They all knew what filled in that blank. They eventually pulled themselves back together, and left the casket and Matthew saw the rest of his friends, and even people he barely knew shuffle up to the casket and pay their respects.

"Good bye Matthew."

"I can't believe you're really gone, Birdie."

"I hope you're happy where you are now, Matt."

"I wish you were still here Matvey."

_Matvey? Isn't that… the name I heard from when I died?_ Matthew looked at the person talking to his lifeless body, and knew it wasn't the same person as from his memories, but the person was close to him. It was a girl. _Katyusha?_ Matthew knew her name. He went up to her and stood in front of her. He looked at her. She was in tears, trying to wipe them away, but there were so many. In spite of being a ghost, Matthew wiped some away for her. _It's ok Kat. I'm fine, see?_

Katyusha lifted her head. She couldn't see him, but she felt him somehow. Matthew knew she must have felt him, and he tried to speak to her. _Kat, can you hear me? It's Matthew._ Katyusha still looked blindly forward, not being able to see Matthew, and she just looked through him. Matthew grew frustrated and tried harder. _Kat? Do you hear me at all?_ She looked surprised. "I can hear you, Matvey." Matthew smiled.

_Finally! Can you see me? _"I can't see you." Matthew pouted. _I'm going to try and make myself visible. Don't freak out please, I haven't done this before. You're the first person I've had contact with._ Matthew mentally prepared himself and tried to appear. It didn't work at first, but he slowly began to shimmer into view. Matthew tried to talk to Katyusha again. "Did it work?"

"Oh my god! Matvey! I can't believe it's you!"

Katyusha hugged Matthew, now more solid, and less ghostly. "M-Matthew?" Alfred ran up to his brother. "H-how are you-? I knew you weren't dead! Nice trick dude! How did you get the body to look like that? It looks a lot like you." By now all the people present for the funeral were looking at him.

"That IS me, Al. I'm dead."

Alfred stared at him for a moment. "You mean you're a-?" "A ghost? Not fully. I'm sort of trapped between worlds, I guess." Everyone stared in shock at the boy. "I don't know why I'm still in this world." Katyusha released her hold on Matthew. "Do you want to see Ivan?" Matthew looked shocked at the name.

"Who is Ivan?"

Katyusha stared at Matthew. "W-what do you mean? You don't know who Ivan is?" "I remember his name, but not who he his." "Ivan is your boyfriend. Well, was…" Alfred told him. "I don't remember him. At all. I barely remember anything. I'll try to remember, "Matthew closed his eyes. _Ivan, Ivan, Ivan, who is Ivan? Why is he so important to me? _"M-Matthew, you're disappearing again!"

Matthew opened his eyes. His hands were now just barely outlined, the inside filled with whispery light. "My mind won't let me remember him. Why won't it let me remember?" "Matvey. He's the one who saw you die." "So he's the one I heard. I remember how I died, but I can't really remember before that…" "Come on, we need to see Ivan." Matthew was dragged away by Katyusha. They didn't go very far, just outside of the church. "It's over already Katyusha? "A silver-haired man turned around and saw the two.

"M-Matvey?"


	3. Chapter 3

"Matvey?"

Matthew's heart stopped for a few beats. This had such an impact on him, and he didn't even know why.

"You're alive?"

"No. I'm not alive."

"Then how are you-"

"This is Matvey's ghost, Ivan."

Matthew looked at the man closely. "I…don't remember you…" Ivan looked hurt. "You don't remember…me?" "No. I don't remember much from before the moments of my death, and even that is a bit fuzzy." Ivan looked hurt. "What do you remember of your death?"

Matthew thought. "I was…running…away from something, I don't know what. And I ran out onto the street, and I got hit by the car." Katyusha flinched and started to cry again. "I was alive for a while after that, and I couldn't really see…I couldn't really breathe…I knew I was dying then. Someone ran up to me and started talking to me, but I couldn't answer them. Then I died." Matthew shrugged, as if death was nothing.

"I woke up, as a ghost on the street where I died. I didn't have any memories, except the ones from when I died. I knew stuff but I couldn't remember where I knew them from. I was wandering around, near the fountain in the city square, and I heard Alfred and Arthur talking about my funeral. I thought I should attend and see how everything turned out. I saw Kat, and I tried talking to her. She heard me, but couldn't see me, so I tried to make myself appear, and here I am."

Matthew finished his explanation very simply. Ivan looked stunned, like he couldn't believe that Matthew was there. Katyusha was mentally sorting out what Matthew had said. Ivan was the first to move; he shot up and hugged Matthew. "Do you remember what I said when you died?" He whispered into Matthew's ear.

Matthew was stunned for a moment then replied "Yes, I heard you. Why was I running from you?" "Because you didn't want to hear what I was telling you…" Katyusha had slipped back into the church, sensing that these two needed their alone time. "I tried to tell you that I loved you, but you didn't want to hear it. You ran from me, and got hit, and you died- because of me."

Matthew looked up at the Russian man. Ivan had tears running down the side of his face. "I didn't run because I didn't want to hear it. I ran because I wanted to hear it. I loved you too. I was confused, and I needed to sort everything out." Memories rushed into Matthew's head, like a dam had just burst. Every memory he had lost.

"_Make sure not to lose it, Matthew." "I won't Papa. I'm naming him Kumajiro!" Matthew looked down at his new polar bear stuffed animal._

"_You shouldn't eat so much maple syrup!" "But it's the only thing that drowns out Arthur's cooking!" The two boys laughed as an angry Arthur came out of the kitchen, brandishing some more foul cooking._

"_Come on Mattie! I want to ride the roller coaster!" Matthew just smiled as Alfred led him through the amusement park._

"_Matvey! There you are!" Katyusha ran down the school's hallway to hug an unsuspecting Matthew. "Oh, hello Kat." Matthew told her. "We're seniors now! This is so much fun!"_

"_This is my big brother, Ivan." Katyusha introduced Matthew to Ivan. Matthew managed a small 'hello' but Ivan just smiled._

"_Matvey, I love you…" Matthew gasped. He needed to…sort out his thoughts. This was so much to take in…He did the only thing he could think of. He ran. Ivan ran after him. Matthew ran out into the street, just in time to see two bright lights flash in front of his face._

Every memory hurt. Every memory was like a tear. Matthew doubled up and screamed. Ivan started to panic, and everyone from the church ran out. "Matvey! What's wrong?" Matthew screamed again as blood appeared on his back. "Oh my god! MATTHEW!" Alfred was freaking out "What's happening Matthew?" Matthew muffled a cry of anguish. "My memories- they becoming my-"Matthew's shirt started to rip off. Two white wings emerged from his back, red blood streaking their bases. The wings unfolded themselves.

Matthew stood up straight, flexing his new wings. "That hurt more than I thought it would. My memories became my wings…" He looked at the awed crowd. "I got my memories back. That was why I came here. I think- I think I'm supposed to leave now." "Matvey. Please don't leave me again…" "I don't have a choice Ivan." "Why would you come here, just to leave again?" "Because I had to finish what I started. I'll come back. Just wait for me, ok? I'm coming back."

Matthew lifted himself a few feet up, with his wings, and kissed Ivan's tears. "Just wait for me. I'll be back, so don't cry. I want to see you happy." Matthew kissed Ivan gently. "Goodbye, everyone…" He said to everyone gathered. Then he spread out his wings, and lifted himself up, up into the clouds. Ivan wiped away what tears he had. He had to be happy. For his Matvey. "I'll be waiting, Matvey…"

**A/N Here's the almost final installment! One more chapter to finish it off, then we're all over! I've seen some of the doujinshis made based off of fan fictions and I was thinking 'I wish I had a good story that could be in a doujinshi…' and I made this! If anyone wants to make my dream a reality that would be awesome! Well, I better get cracking at the ending, huh? I'll see you soon!**


	4. Chapter 4

It had been a month since Ivan had last seen Matthew- his ghost at least. Ivan had been spending more time alone, becoming more introverted as time passed. He would take walks, and watch the sunrises and sunsets, knowing that Matthew was out there somewhere. Ivan would do gardening and such, being left alone to think. He always remembered what Matthew had said.

"_I'm coming back."_

But Matthew didn't tell him everything he had wanted to know. How is he coming back? When is he coming back? How will he know? Ivan tried to refrain from thinking those questions, but somehow the boy he loved so much always invaded his mind.

He had went on a walk again, not even paying attention to where he was going, just losing himself in his thoughts. He had walked deep into a forest, and had found himself close to a glistening pond. It wasn't very deep, about three feet, Ivan estimated.

The bottom was covered in rocks, aligned in a pattern. It was mostly white rocks, with red rocks creating a design of a cross. Ivan looked at it a moment, studying the rocks just below the surface. Ivan noticed that all the birds that had been happily chirping along the road on his way here were not chirping anymore. Ivan finally stood up, and turned around, ready to leave the forest, when wet arms wrapped around his midsection.

"I told you I'd come back."

Ivan's eyes widened at the sound of that all-too-familiar voice. He turned around to face the person behind him. _Matvey…_ Matthew's blonde, wavy hair was limp from the water, and that one stubborn curl poked out. His violet eyes were trained on Ivan, glistening like they used to. He had on a pair of icy blue swim shorts, but he had no shirt on, and to Ivan's light surprise, no wings.

"Where did your wings go?"

"Well, now that I'm human again, I can't exactly have wings, but I asked for something to replace them."

Matthew turned around to show his back to Ivan. He had a large tattoo on his shoulder blades, of white trailing wings, with blood on the base, like his real wings were like. "And I have my necklace…" He held up the necklace that was dangling around his neck. It was two very white, angel feathers. "From my wings…"

Ivan hugged the boy to himself. "I've missed you…"

"I've missed you too, Ivan. Heaven is lonely without you."

"Everyone misses you."

"We should probably go see them, huh?"

Ivan gave the boy in his arms a light squeeze.

"That can wait a little longer. You're staying with me."

Ivan bent down and kissed Matthew. His Matvey. His little angel. His sky. His world. His heaven. His everything.

"You know, god is a very nice man."

"Oh really?"

"Yes. I even negotiated Feliciano and Lovino's Grandpa Roma, and Ludwig and Gilbert's Grandfather Adalwin out of heaven. I hope they're happy."

Ivan looked at the boy in his arms.

"They couldn't be any happier than I am right now…"

**A/N: This is how I imagined Matthew's wings tattoo .com/imgres?hl=en&gbv=2&biw=1366&bih=667&tbm=isch&tbnid=mz1zpI7NRvUhoM:&imgrefurl=/angel-wing-tattoo/olympus-digital-camera/&docid=OonC3EYJmrIl7M&imgurl=&w=808&h=615&ei=TpEoT9GgGoSy2QXu9On9Ag&zoom=1&iact=rc&dur=432&sig=109404489100468690240&page=4&tbnh=127&tbnw=173&start=77&ndsp=27&ved=1t:429,r:22,s:77&tx=123&ty=82**

**I hope you realized who Roma and Adalwin were (Roman Empire and Germania) I made them up names. Roma because it's so close to Rome and Adalwin because it means 'Noble Friend' and it's an Ancient Germanic name (score!).**

**Thank you for sticking with me on this one! I love you all! I'll see you later!**


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